Can’t Figure Out Your Enneagram Type?
This Exercise Is Not for the Faint of Heart
The Enneagram is known for causing shocking moments of self-revelation. If that hasn’t happened to you yet, and you think you want it (which is basically how I interpret people’s frequent questions about how they can figure out their type), I have a suggestion you can try. Just be warned that seeing yourself clearly can be a painful and disorienting experience. And sometimes the reason people haven’t figured out their type yet is that they aren’t ready to face themselves that honestly.
But I suppose if you’re really not ready, the exercise may simply feel a bit blank to you and you probably just won’t get much out of it. (If you try it, I’d love to hear from you, of course.)
So, this is a modified version of an exercise that I did about a decade ago, already knowing myself as a 4w5, though not identifying with everything about descriptions I had read of type Four. Pertinent to this article, I did not recognize in myself the “passion” of envy. That changed in an overwhelming moment of conviction, staring at the t.v. in an optometrist’s waiting room, as I was practicing the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius.
I’m not recommending that you undertake the full regimen of the Spiritual Exercises, unless you’re able to really dedicate yourself to it. I did not do the whole thing myself. I followed Ignatius’ modified, “spiritual exercises lite” version of the program for people unable to leave behind their worldly responsibilities. I’m having a hard time remembering now, but I think what I did was maybe even less arduous than the “easy level” St. Ignatius recommends.
In any case, I spent each day trying to become aware of every time I committed a “sin” (which, in Enneagram terminology, we can refer to as entering a “trance state” or experiencing one of the “passions”). Ignatius suggested using the Ten Commandments as a guide but I found it more helpful to use the “seven deadly sins plus two” of the Enneagram (naturally).
For reference, those would be:
1: Anger
2: Vanity
3: Dishonesty (“sloth in self-development”)
4: Envy
5: Avarice (hoarding, stinginess)
6: Cowardice (“sloth in self-reliance”)
7: Gluttony
8: Lust (excess, the “will to power”)
9: Sloth (disengagement, “sloth in self-remembrance”)
By the end of the first day, I was shocked at what a frequent, familiar habit it was for my mind to slip into these trance states. It was either the second or third day of practice that I was watching some women on a talk show (in the aforementioned waiting room) and caught myself once again feeding a narrative rooted in envy: “Everyone always pays attention to women like that who are nowhere near as special as I am and don’t have anything as unique and interesting to say as I do. And here I am ignored and languishing in obscurity.”
Such an ugly way of thinking, no? And by watching myself for these kind of thoughts, moment by moment, I was confronted with the fact that they were a constant background to my experience. I had had so many barely conscious or semi-conscious thoughts like that over the course of a just a couple
days. When I caught myself having yet another thought like that, without having chosen to do it, just automatically reacting to a simple, everyday event, I hit a point of despair.
Who would want to admit that they harbor such sick and petty thoughts? Recognizing yourself very honestly can bring you to your knees. Painful as that moment was, it was one of the greatest gifts life has given me. It was a kind of bottoming out, recognizing my need for help, and becoming able to receive what assistance was available.
So, if you want to try it, here’s what I suggest (and of course, you can modify it however you want to fit your needs):
1) Become clear in your mind about what the trance state of each type “feels like.” Sit down with pen and paper and write down each of the Enneagram passions and try to remember a time you have experienced it. Enneagram books can help with this.
2) Write down the virtues of each type. Consider when you have expressed each of these virtues. For reference they are:
1: Serenity
2: Humility
3: Authenticity
4: Equanimity
5: Objectivity
6: Courage
7: Sobriety
8: Innocence
9: Right Action
3) Spend an entire day doing your best to notice when you experience any of the passions. When you catch yourself in a trance state, instead of judging yourself, simply place your hand over your heart (as Ignatius instructs). This can help to ground your experience by engaging a different center of the brain/body with an outward movement; and touching your hand to your heart can serve as a reminder that you are loved by God (or “supported by the universe,” if you prefer), no matter what you have done.
4) At the end of the day, write down what you remember. What passions do you remember experiencing? Is there a particular trance state that you noticed most often? What narrative about yourself and the world do you create and reinforce with your self-talk? (The words “always,” “never,” “everyone,” and “no one” may tip you off that something is part of a narrative you are creating for yourself.)
5) After noting the passions you have experienced, remind yourself of which virtues represent the redemption of those passions. Do not attempt to express or embody these virtues. Simply remind yourself that if you become present to reality as it is, not as you wish it were, the virtues will more naturally, effortlessly express themselves in your life.
6) Practice again, ideally the next day. I would aim to practice for a full week.
I can’t guarantee that you’ll know your type by the end of that period, but I am willing to wager you will be significantly more familiar with your internal landscape. And that will get you closer to recognizing your type, when you are ready to see it.
